the 1st and the last

i promise

this will be the 1st and also the last time

first time crying on the bus

let the malay girl who sit beside me seeing me with a weird looking

really feel so ashamed and embarrassed 

but this will be the last time

last time crying because of you

i tell myself 

and make this as a promise to myself

it is not worth to cry over someone who dint care about you at all

maybe you care

just i dint feel it

or maybe like what i say

you never care at all

you never care before

and will not care for now

even in the future

maybe...

but i tired already

everyday thinking of ways to make you feel happy

until i lost myself

dont know what should i do

what should i care anymore

so i promise

promise to myself

this is the last time doing such thing

and this wont happen anymore

i should not rely on others for my future

the only people who truly care for you is your family

not others

no people will care for you anymore

no people will worry about you

so is time for me to be strong

be independent

not rely on others