It HuRTs........

north hurt my heart my dear...
do you ever understand that?

i really dislike north..
since the day my heart break..
and i knew it..

i dislike north..
it dint bring happiness to me..
else..
it bring hurt to me..

my heart had been hurt once and another..
it never complete now..
even though it looks like heal already..
but my dear...
do you ever know that..
there is still a scale there?
deep inside my heart..

do you know...
every time when i go around the north..
memory with you will pop out..
and it is torturing me every single night..
is so suffering..

everyday every time..
i walk by a place..
then you will appear...
deep inside my mind...
and it hurt my heart once again..
i still need to pretend..
pretending that i m fine..

although i keep on telling myself..
it all passed already..
just let it go..
but it is suffering...
really suffer..
i still could not persuade myself to let it go...

so just now when you tell me..
north is fun..
my tears drop down..
i hate north...
coz you really hurt my heart deeply...

i know north is fun..
i know north got many place can play..
but is because of you it just fun..
without you..
it is nothing..

dont keep on telling me north is fun..
i know about it...
really....
but my heart is more hurt when i continue stay in north..
that s why i keep on escape..
i want escape from the place you stay...

avoid my heart from being hurt again..
do you ever understand it?

you always dont understand the meaning behind my words..
is you really dont understand?
or you never wish to understand it?
i wonder....

so my dear...
even you got 100 benefits of north..
i still wanna tell you..
north had broke my heart..
and it really hurts..
till now it still will torture me...
so i dislike north...

if possible..
i would never ever wanna coming back to north...
coz i would never forget the hurt that north had bring to me!!
it is bleeding and it hurts...
can you understand me?
it really hurts....


ps: this post would be the last post for me in this blog until i back home..
     i dont know what is the next time i will coming here or you would coming here...
     i also dont know what is the next time i writing here... 
     just hope that i could happy back after back home... 
     wish me good luck please... 
     i m just too weak to handle this kind of thing..
     but please trust me..
     i will be well soon...
     the happy gan yan nee will be back soon..
     with her calm heart... 
     and sharing all her happy things with you..
     look forward for her lar~ 
     dont hate me..
     really...
     my friend really not much already...
     sometime i really lost..
     dont know who else can i talk with...
     so let me rely a while..
     rely on you one more time..
     after that i would never and ever rely on you already..
     i would only rely on myself..
     so that i wont get hurt anymore...
     i could not afford to get hurt again..
     please forgive my ren xing for the last time...